那一顆封閉了的心

A new year is about to start. Classes are starting on Monday so is my new job training. A complete new but extremely important year for me.

課還沒有開始，我已經開始擔心…
擔心日文課，以我那已經5個月沒有講的日文，怎樣應付？
擔心我的workload，究竟我可以應付嗎？

這一年，真的很重要。
我由心底裡，很想很想去好好享受每一分鐘，很想擁抱每分鐘…
很想由心底裡的愛每一個我能夠遇上的人…

所以，主啊，請給我力量，請給我更多的愛。

I am here for You.

The Last Phase of This 6-Year Journey

August 10th brought the start of the last phase of my 6-year journey in the United States. I found myself reminding myself that this is going to be the last year I am in the US each and every day since I have been back. And the fact is, that may be true and the chance is very high. I begin to have the habit of taking my old small white camera with me everywhere so that I can capture every moment that I want to keep a memory.

Today at the diversity training for International Orientation advisors, the facilitator concluded everyone's comments and summed up the journey of an international student in a foreign country to be the following. You try your best to engage in things so you keep pushing yourself, push yourself out of the comfort zone, push yourself to try new things, push yourself to not be shy, push yourself so that people get to know you more and vice versa. However, along with this hard work, fatigue comes and you will eventually feel tired, lost, or disappointed. Here comes the retreat moment. You can choose to stay back a bit and talk to people of your own, from your country, who speak the same language as you do. When you have the energy again, you keep pushing again.

I like this description very much because I think it's quite true or at least it applies to me. And this year is going to be my last year of pushing. With all the numbness, powerlessness, disappointment, loneliness, excitement, curiosity, joy, and pride I have felt in the past 5 years, I make a promise with myself that I am going to embrace this year to the fullest.

Positivity. Joy. Hope. Excitement. LOVE.

For those of you who are reading, will you embrace it with me?

:)