6 Months Later...

Half a year ago, I sat here and wrote the note "It goes on and on, it goes beyond time." Half a year later, I am sitting at the same place, Ellwood's Coffee, writing a blog, however, with a complete different attitude.

Although I've mentioned for a thousand times in the past entries, I still think that God is challenging me what faith is. I did not go to Area10 one Sunday because I went to Intervarsity fall retreat. So I listened to it again last Saturday while I was on duty and I still remember what Chris, the pastor, said about the sailboat. He said, the sailboat may be the safest at the dock, however, it is not at where it is meant to be. A sailboat is supposed to go into the ocean and have a journey. The same for us. We are not supposed to get stuck here and go nowhere. We are supposed to have our own journeys, walk our paths, and write our stories. I went to a Chinese church last Sunday and the sermon was about Abraham and how Abraham is the father of faith and that he took a big step in being willing to sacrifice his only son.

For the mean time, I got a message from my friend saying that she's dissatisfied with her life and that she wants to do something different. On the same day, I watched a movie called The Fair Trade Movie, featuring a young woman whose boyfriend was killed in a car accident and ever since, her life was changed. It's about how she got interested in Fair Trade and started to have an impact on people in different parts of the world. In the movie, it says:

"Movements are not fueled by ideas. Movements come from individual sufferings and sacrifices."

It may sound too serious for a quotation. However, I am indeed deeply moved by this quote. Oh Lord, I am scared. I am scared of where You are going to lead me to. Just like Moses, I do not think I am competent to do such a job. But God, when I see the path You are constantly pointing to me, I just pray that You will give me the strength and faith that I need to take this leap of faith. I pray that when time is appropriate, You will give me my life companion on earth. I pray that You will continue to give me honesty and a genuine heart in life. God, I give You all I have.

My heart, my soul, Lord I give you control
Consume me from the inside out
Lord Let justice and praise become my embrace
To love You from the inside out

Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending, Your glory goes beyond all fame
And the cry of my heart is to bring You praise
From the inside out, O my soul cries out 

Extraordinary.